…for making sure I didn’t actually take a few days off this holiday week!
What a charming little undergarment you were planning on selling to the masses this Black Friday:
Every 7 year-old girl needs a thong (like, I could end the sentence there!), an article of clothing designed for the sole purpose of sexually exciting others, that also broadcasts to the world that they’re diggin’ for gold before they’re even old enough to have a checking account of their own.
The perfect holiday gift for your first grader. The message that baring their buns will be rewarded with a wealthy partner. Cheers! And happy holidaze.
Larkin Callaghan 
I’d agree with you! Just a tad overboard…that’s my own sarcasm by the way.